Untitled

The first time
these hands were decorated by mehndi,
I had sat beside you in the lecture hall.
I thought they were beautiful then,
but you had never taken
even a single glance at them.

The intricate spirals and curls
of a reddish brown tint faded away
before you ever saw them,
and I rued the impermanence
of the mehndi’s stain.

Yesterday,
I had mehndi applied again,
and again,
I could not stop looking
at the tinted motifs:
I thought they were gorgeous.

Today, I realize
even if the stain of mehndi
should linger a little longer,
you are no longer beside me –
you are nowhere near me at all –
for me to wish for them to be in your gaze,
even just once.

I had lamented the impermanence
of the mehndi's stain then;
I mourn the capriciousness
of our lives now.

Just One Drop

Just one drop –
just one drop –
will this surface calm
disturb

A peaceful stillness
that may sooth and ease

a calm surface
which turbulent currents
masks

If you’re wounded
if you’re hurt
let the surface stillness
comfort you
calm you

let it help you
let it rejuvenate you

But if you come crying
time and again
but if you come bleeding
time and again

just remember

a single drop of tear
will ripple

a single drop of blood
will stain

soon
will come bursting forth
a violent whirlpool

swirling ominously
frothing viciously

sweeping you far
far away

never again letting you
come near

Just one drop –
of blood or of tear –
will this surface calm
disturb

Just one drop –
just one drop –
will the seeming stillness
shatter



12^th – 13^th Dec 2005

A Revolting Love Ditty

Every time I sweat
I think of you
Every moment I stink
I think of you
You are repulsive

You are foul
Every time I belch
I think of you
Every time I fart
I think of you

Every time I take a piss
I think of you
Every time I take a crap
I think of you
You are execrable

You are odious
And you know what’s worse?

You are a vital part of me
You are intrinsic to my well-being

You keep me healthy
You keep me sane

Without you
I’ll grow sick and die
The most painful and gruesome
Death

I need you

I need you more than
You need me

And this
Is what about you
That sickens me
The most

untitled

meeting      turning away      lowering
stealing          catching

stealing
   one back     catching
                        meeting         turning away
                                                   lowering
stealing
   one back     meeting
                        catching            lowering
                                                turning away
stealing
   one back ...



i forgot:
who stole from whom
                           who caught whom
                                                who turned away
who stole back

were you stealing
   glances at me       did you catch me      did you turn away
were you stealing
   them back

i was only looking
   at you                     looking at me                     looking at you
looking at me ...

did you see us looking
   at each other         looking at the other         looking at us?



well                                  one of us                                  did.

Untitled

Here, take my palm
and tell me about the lines
along which my life unfolds,
the threads that link my past to
      my present,
and which weave my future.

Tell me,
what do you see?

Do you see yourself
in my memories,
or as my gift;

are you my destiny?

If you do not -
and are not -
let me unpick these frayed
      strands
      from my palms,
and let me unpick those
      on yours.

These will I spin
      into a single yarn,
      into a single thread;

I will dye it red.

Then I will piece together
the scraps of our checkered pasts,
      our spotted presents;
and, with this red thread,
sew them on to the pure, lush silk
      of our future:

I will stitch a Charm quilt
that joins us across the fabric
      of time,
threading us together
from one lifetime
to the next.



28^th Nov – 3^rd Dec 2005