text

already difficult enough
to still be standing
against the onslaught
of thoughts of you
to be constantly missing
you

much harder however
to keep myself from
deluging you
with text messages -
just so you'd send one
in reply, and that
in my mind
would mean wherever i am
you are also there
almost in real-time -
at any time in my waking hours

nonono
i must not text you
while you sleep
(must not seem needy
 must not seem obsessed)
have to keep reminding myself
to not keep you up
to let you sleep

must not text you

go to sleep
you need your rest
sleep soon

the intent and the contents
of the text
so completely at odds