To Y__ Who Once Loved Me

or, I Have A Crush On You

I have a crush on you.
I know it’s ironic, but it’s true -
Unfortunately - that after you
Have upped and gone away
My heart begins to stray
From me and totter after you.

Is it just bad timing -
Your loving, my not reciprocating;
Your leaving, my desire growing -
Or something far more worrying?

It’s cruel; it’s crazy ...
Do you think it’s me?
Do you think I’ll only want
What will never mean to be?

Is that why I do not find
Myself paying back in kind
The things you do and feel
Until your heart has healed
And mended against me?

But it’s too late now -
Am I not too late?
Too late now for me to
Vow or disavow; too late,
Too late - because you will
No longer wait.

And what right have I to charge
Or recriminate?

I have a crush on you.
It’s ironic, I know, but true:
That when you decide to start anew,
I realize I can’t do without you.