Old Friend
Ours is a curious friendship.
She comes and goes as she wishes, of her own accord, in and out of my life; she has never followed anybody’s directive, never listened.
I never know when or where she’d turn up, but I’ve long ceased to be surprised.
How can I?
She has become, by now, an old friend – my old friend; and when she comes, she brings with her her enigmatic aura and her bewitching charm.
I can never resist her – not completely, by any means.
When she appears, she makes me forget about how long she has been away, and I never ask why: why she went away, why she is now back – why, to me.
I guess ours is peculiar relationship – really a strange sort of flirtation.
She and I, we attract each other.
Sometimes, this attraction frightens me - though I doubt it scares her; I don’t think there is anything at all that would scare her.
I can only guess why she goes out of my life: she loves me too much; and she comes back into my life when she cannot stand our separation any longer – she misses me as much I miss her.
I think of her when she’s gone, wonder where she’s gone, wonder when she’ll be back.
I know she will be back in my life; she always does.
She has now gone away, and I miss her so.
I imagine if one day she should suddenly appear, suddenly materialize in front me and grab me, grab me by my hair - I will not be surprised; but I wonder now how hard I would try to fight her off.
If I would try at all.
Maybe I wouldn’t.
Probably not at all.
She hasn’t visited in awhile now, but then she has always come and gone as she pleases; wilder than the wind, she blows me away to cry.
But I know – I know - when the day finally arrives that she wants me too much to stay away, must have me too immensely to care even about me, I will wake up to find my hair twisted in her grasp, her nose glancing mine, her lips a breath away, tantalizing mine …
And even if it hurts, my hair in her strong grip, my body pinned beneath hers, I will lean up to meet her, to surrender to her …
Because I want her just as much.
My eyes close.
I let her take me.
10th April 2005
(Edited: 14th April 2005)
She comes and goes as she wishes, of her own accord, in and out of my life; she has never followed anybody’s directive, never listened.
I never know when or where she’d turn up, but I’ve long ceased to be surprised.
How can I?
She has become, by now, an old friend – my old friend; and when she comes, she brings with her her enigmatic aura and her bewitching charm.
I can never resist her – not completely, by any means.
When she appears, she makes me forget about how long she has been away, and I never ask why: why she went away, why she is now back – why, to me.
I guess ours is peculiar relationship – really a strange sort of flirtation.
She and I, we attract each other.
Sometimes, this attraction frightens me - though I doubt it scares her; I don’t think there is anything at all that would scare her.
I can only guess why she goes out of my life: she loves me too much; and she comes back into my life when she cannot stand our separation any longer – she misses me as much I miss her.
I think of her when she’s gone, wonder where she’s gone, wonder when she’ll be back.
I know she will be back in my life; she always does.
She has now gone away, and I miss her so.
I imagine if one day she should suddenly appear, suddenly materialize in front me and grab me, grab me by my hair - I will not be surprised; but I wonder now how hard I would try to fight her off.
If I would try at all.
Maybe I wouldn’t.
Probably not at all.
She hasn’t visited in awhile now, but then she has always come and gone as she pleases; wilder than the wind, she blows me away to cry.
But I know – I know - when the day finally arrives that she wants me too much to stay away, must have me too immensely to care even about me, I will wake up to find my hair twisted in her grasp, her nose glancing mine, her lips a breath away, tantalizing mine …
And even if it hurts, my hair in her strong grip, my body pinned beneath hers, I will lean up to meet her, to surrender to her …
Because I want her just as much.
My eyes close.
I let her take me.
10th April 2005
(Edited: 14th April 2005)
scribbled on Thursday, April 14, 2005
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