Do Not Stand Downwind of This Man

There is this guy you see -
suave as suave can be:

Oh the well-styled hair
- a ritzy $200 cut -
the dreamy eyes
- pools of Hershey chocolate fondue -
Oh how not to drool!

Whatta hunk!

                  Mr. Hunk, oh Mr. Hunk!
                  You make other men all seem like junk!
                  Won’t you walk a little slower
                  So I could get a little nearer?



So you quicken your pace
Wanting to touch base
With this gorgeous creature
With the delectable rear:

Oh the well-tailored shirt
- that fits a perfect V -
the elegant pants
- which hugs a perky ass -
Oh here’s the Holy Grail, the Quest!

Whatta hunk!

                  Mr. Hunk, oh Mr. Hunk!
                  You make other men all seem like junk!
                  We should have ourselves a little romance.
                  (And then I can get in your pants!)
                  Come on, slow down
                  You talk-of-the-town –
                  Let me catch up
                  And get a closeup
                  Of your gorgeous mug!
                  You’re the designer drug
                  My pharmacist refused to store
                  (She thinks it too hardcore)!



Within seven feet of him,
Your interest begins to dim –
And you’re unable to close the distance:
There is just too great a resistance …
But still you stubbornly push on,
Unwilling to give up this hunk you've chanced upon -

What's that funk?!

Oh the gentle breeze that wafts past
- the billion gazillion molecules -
the sudden, obnoxious whiff
- is that half a gallon of cologne? -
Oh it commands its own geographical zone!

                  Mr. Hunk, oh Mr. Hunk!
                  How many times did you have to dunk
                  Yourself in that marination?
                  (I ask this with great trepidation.)
                  You did not have stew yourself in it –
                  And if you do, please first get a permit!
                  A fragrance that overwhelms the senses
                  Very quickly queasiness induces.
                  So please be mindful of your fellow pedestrians,
                  And most importantly of their olfactory organs:
                  Spritz your cologne sparingly -
                  Do not use it so exceedingly!



Downwind of Mr. Hunk,
You realize he is Mr. Skunk.



1^st Nov 2004 – 20^th Jan 2005