Hot breakfasts and coffee

An evangelist stopped me
on the streets today
and handed me a pamphlet.
“Believe in Christ our Savior,”
it said, “and repent
your Godless, sinful ways!”

I politely declined
and walked away
but the mulish bugger persisted.
“God owns your soul, you know!”
he brayed, “He’d redeemed it
in the most painful way!”

Oh my god! Stolen my soul
in broad daylight!
Don’t tell me I’d handed it over
without a fight!

Now how would I be
able to trade it for free
hot breakfasts and coffee,
courtesy of the
christian chaplaincy?
(It’s always advertised as “free”
but even suckers like me
know nothing’s for free –
they just ask for your soul
in lieu of money.)

Bugger immortality.
All I want is just
hot breakfasts and coffee.