February 05, 2004

Excuse Me

Excuse me.

Excuse me!
Yes, I’ve got something I’d like to return.

Whaddaya mean I can’t return it –
It’s spoilt! It’s defected!
I’ve got an item that’s broken –
Okay, how about an exchange then?

Whaddaya mean I can’t exchange it either –
Look, it’s clearly damaged!
And I’ve only used it once!
It’s –

I want to see the Manager –

You are the Manager.
Great, just gimme a new piece for this one here
And I’ll get outta your face, quick and easy.

Whaddaya mean ‘NO’ -
It’s your product –

Let me talk to the Manufacturer.
I want to talk to the person who made this product

You are the maker then?
The Manufacturer?

See this here?
You made it.
Now fix it or gimme a new piece.
I’d used it once and then it’s –

Whaddaya mean “Hearts cannot be returned or exchanged” –
I told you,
I’d used it only once!

Is it broken?
Can’t you see for yourself –
Of course it’s broken!

Whaddaya mean did I break it?
Of course not!
Like, duh!
See, I’d given it to someone
And it was returned to me in one piece.
But then it suddenly shattered!
I didn’t break it.
And now it’s in a million and one pieces,
I can’t use it anymore.

Please, can’t you just give me a new piece?
I just want a new one …
This one’s in so many pieces I can’t –

I don’t know how to mend it …
It can’t be mended;
I’ve tried.
And tried.
And tried.
But it won’t mend
And I can’t use it anymore.
Please give me a new piece.
I promise I’ll take care of it,
I won’t give it away again.
I’ll never give it away again.


Blogger mahtiaivo said...

this one made my day, i really like it. thank you (so to say).

4:45 AM  

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