March 14, 2002

some things whimsical

it was cold – really, you’d think they thought we were all
     penguins from the artic.
a three-hour epic – how much longer in this cold?
“i'm cold” i whispered to you - “i'm cold too”
     you confessed -
but you dug into your bag and pulled out a sweatshirt
     and gave it to me -
“well use it then” i pushed it back to you -
you were so stubborn –
“you’re cold too, take it” you pushed it to me.
i don’t know about you - my world stilled
    the moment our eyes met –
your eyes gazed steadily into mine, blinked once
- (nervously?) -
a slow smile formed on your lips.
i confess now: i was nervous – caught off-guard – turned
    away from your warm gaze;
your sweatshirt laid limp in my hand, your attention
     returned to the movie -
but mine? – it was drawn, taken – probably lost for good.

heavy rain-storm replete with threatening light-swords -
thunder sounded at every step:
we trudged uphill – sought shelter at the crematorium.
soaked to the bone but buoyant we laughed merrily -
i leaned in close (subtly as i could) -
you were unfailing and steadfast – retorted jovially
“hey i'm supporting you” when i argued otherwise.
the rain drained into a light drizzle – we left our erstwhile
on the slippery-wet grass by the drain-side, i hesitated
    to cross –
afraid i'd slip and fall;
from across the drain, you silently extended a hand –
open, reassuring, warm, ready –
“i'm supporting you” –
i took it – your fingers closed firmly around my hand –
and crossed.

that deep, dark night, going to the beach –
i, tipsy and intoxicated, giddy with laughter,
lost my clogs in that dark field – climbing over
    that wooden fence
(we were trespassing; the slippers were clumsy
     - i took ’em off).
stranded on the fence, i pouted and whined
– not wanting to wet my feet on the dew-laden grass;
so you sighed, exasperated but indulgent
     – affectionately -
found my clogs amidst the grass, knelt before me, laid
    my hand upon your shoulder
– “lean on me” –
gently took my bared feet one by one
and slipped each clog on.
we made it to the beach
– i stumbled, lost footing, but you were always there,
    always ready, always steady –
and waited for a sunrise that never came –
(we were facing west!)

another three-hour epic, let out late in the night
we brought our dinner to the musical fountain –
wanted to watch the light display;
but they’d turned it all off that night
     – maintenance, they said.
still we sat by the silent, unlit, dry fountain,
laughed over our unfortunate timing.
we finger-shared dinner – delicious roast chicken, licking
    at our fingers -
a bottle of water, a rosy Fuji apple, juicy-sweet.
the night was starless, overcast
– no moon, not even a sliver –
it was beautiful.

in the darkened cinema we were whispering
(we were supposed to be watching the movie but instead
     were discussing it)
i sighed over Melina Kanakaderes’ fine-boned Grecian
you liked her legs and breasts (what about mine?!)
suspense on screen: the Killer was hidden; Robert de Niro
     was about to be killed –
i covered my eyes - you laughed softly at my silliness and
     pried at my fingers.
i remained stubborn, tried to nudged you away with my elbow.
your fingers stayed, covering mine;
then you whispered in my ear “it’s over, it’s okay now
    – look”
i peeked and relaxed, fingers removed, and slouched
    on you –
joined seamlessly (it seemed) from my shoulder
     to the end of my arm with you.
was it cold in the cinema? i only felt the warmth
     of your body on mine –
but where did you end and i begin?

the peak hours – hours of vehicular congestion,
     we’d thought –
but no, we stop only for pedestrians and traffic lights.
the kaleidoscope of light and shadow plays on our skin
     as we rumble through Orchard Boulevard.
my urban-road-warrior – on a steel mount in gunmetal
     shades -
i wrap my arms more tightly around you –
feel the soft undersides of your breasts on my forearms –
the assuring beats of your heart and the gentle
     fall and rise of your chest as you breathe –
i hold you close as you embrace your roaring mount.
there is warm sun rays and cool breezes –
what more can i ask for?


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